when it all comes clear, when you gather all the experience and tears and rage that turned this heart into a hollow leaking diamond, when you learn the alphabet to read my eyes, when I appear as a precious rarity, when you forget my taste when you desire to feel the skin, just once, to see what it's like, when you realize where and when it begun, when you start seeing doubts and mistakes, when your boyfriend turns into a pig, when your pierced friend turns into a disappointment, when I tear open the scar and blind you with light, when the music shapes your emotions, when the diary I'm writing faces your indifference for the final round, when I steal your fears and hide them inside me, when you decide that you're in charge, when she tells you what chance you've missed, when you realise the power you released, when you go back into the chrysalis and try again, when you leave your pores thrill under the wind through the hair, when the head welcomes the hand, when the hour becomes too short, when the park makes you smile and look down, when my pain explodes into serenity, when you wish I was underneath, mute and asleep, when you call me for a fake reason, when you see me hiding the first tear, when you refuse to admit the limit, when you learn to feel instead of looking, when you open up my hand and look inside, when I fear your first word, when I ask you to pluck the hair in my ears, when I prove you that I couldn't do more without hurting you, when you read this and wish I was there, when I decide that it's all for you, when you turn me into a liquid, when I show you my land, when I clean my blood for you, when you tell me it's over, he left, when you seek my shoulder, when I tell you I knew it from the moment I fell, when you change your mind, when you wake up, when you become what you are inside, when you decide to let go, when you see why I don't eat, when they leave us alone, when I take you underwater, when you finally believe that it's possible, when you are completely wrong, when I bring you back to the surface, when I buy you more time, when I give you back your breath, when you see me carve shapes in smoke, when we hold on to the past, when he decides you're nothing else than another one, when she tells me how could you leave me and fall for her, when I tell you the answer I gave her, when he finally becomes my friend and tell him what you are, when I stop fathering you, when you let me help you grow, when I show you the stars of the south, when we warm each other in the freezing wind, when you open your way out of the nightmares, when we hit our foreheads, when he reads this and starts hating me, when I feel your near future and pretend I don't know, when you see through me and see yourself, when you decide to show me and you're proud, when you ask me anything, when I choke and see you as my last vision, when you are the first warned, when you dial 1 and get me, when I change mood and smile to you , when I'm not a daily event anymore, when you let me through, when I caress you with my eyelashes, when I deal with it, when you wait for me, when you wish you could go back and change everything, when I fail being just a friend, when your friends say I'm cool, whenever you smile at what I say, when I see through you and don't mention it, when you clean your blood, when you decide to face the truth, when I decide he doesn't deserve my wrath, when you bounce around me, when you finally understand that it's not a coincidence,
then,